Canny Chan

                                                   雷  頤

 

在不同文明間的交往交流中，語言從來就是變動不居的。從理論上說，語言交流應該是彼此平等、互相影響的，每种方言都有平等擠進“中心”的權力，不同文明間的交流應該對等地互相吸收“外來語”。但實際上語言也十分“勢利”，根本不可能完全“平等”。

語言發展演變的歷史表明，往往是政治、文化中心或經濟發達地區的方言才有權變成“官話”、“普通話”末其他方言只能蟄居“邊緣”，難登大雅之堂。同樣，“外來語”更多也是“先進”向“落後”的“邊緣”滲透、侵入，逆向流動者絕少，後者不得不深受前者影響。如不少北京的方言或流行語之所以能在全或迅速流行，成爲”普通話“，只因爲北京處在政治、文化中心。近代許多滬語能突破“邊緣”進入“中心”，因爲上海市商埠首開之地，且日漸成爲經濟中心，總是風氣先得。人們往往沒有意識到，我們現在一位很“普通”的，早就習以爲常實施脫口俄出的“滑頭”、“流氓”、“盯梢”、“出風頭”、“尋開心”、“陰陽怪氣”等詞語，若查書一看，原本竟都是上海方言。而今日粵語的情形亦頗爲有些類似。改革開放以來，廣東得風氣之先，南風漸盛，於是“粵味普通話”也隨粵菜一道北上，如“買單”、“搞定”、“生猛”等，已漸漸成爲“普通話”。現在“港臺腔”頗受責難，其實“港臺腔”不也是我們統一的中國的“方言”之一种嗎？例如現在越來越多的青少年用“港臺腔”的“耶——！”“哇——！”代替“哎喲——！來表示驚嘆，引起了一些尖銳的批評則難。其實，被視爲“驚嘆”之“正統表達”的“哎喲”也並非古來如此，一成不變。如要“正統”，只能回到不是“噫吁嘻——！”就是“嗚呼哀哉——！”的時代。幾年前，我就曾撰文，主張不妨用“聽取蛙聲一片”那般寬舒閑淡心態，來“聽取‘哇’聲一片”。

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There is one word that is on the lips of Americans, day and night, “Sorry”.
One time as I was walking on the street, a young man ran by hurriedly, brushing against my handbag. Even as he continued on his way, he turned back and said “sorry” to me. Even in a rush, he didn’t forget to apologize.
One day, after I bought some apples, the salesman was giving me the change, but I wasn’t ready for it, and a coin dropped on the ground. “I’m sorry”, he said while bending down to pick it up. I was puzzled—why would he apologize when it was my fault?
Another time, I stepped on a man’s foot in an escalator. At the same time we both said “sorry”. I thought it interesting: was it really necessary for him to apologize?
Later on, an American friend explained to me that according to American ideas, the escalator is a public place which everyone should be able to stand in. after someone occupies a position in the escalator, making it difficult for someone else to find a place to stand in, isn’t it necessary to express an apology?
During my stay in America, I gradually realized that when friction occurs in daily life, Americans don’t care much about who id responsible. If someone is troubled, a “sorry” is always necessary. Even if the other person is hurt, the “sorry” would cool tempers. Perhaps this is why I never saw anyone quarreling on the buses, subways or street in America.

     

      Living and dealing with kids can be a tough job, but living and dealing with parents can be even tougher.

    If I have learned anything in my 16 years, it is that communication is very important, especially when you disagree. When you’re mad at your parents, or anyone else, not talking to them doesn’t solve anything.

      Communication begins with the concerns of another. It means that you cant just come home from school, go up to your room and ignore everyone. Even if you just say “Hi”, and see how their day was for 5 minutes, it is better than nothing.

      When dealing with parents, you always have to make them feel good about how they are doing as parents. If you are trying to make them see something as you see it, tell them that you’ll listen to what they have to say, but ask them politely to listen to you. Shouting or walking away only makes the situation worse.

    This is an example: one night, Sophie went to a street party with her friends. She knew she had to be home by midnight, but she didn’t feel she could just ask to go home. That would be rude. After all, they had been nice enough to make her along with them. Needless to say, she was late getting home. Her parents were mad at first, but when Sophie explained why she was late, they weren’t as mad and let the incident go. Communication was the key factor here. If Sophie’s parents had not been willing to listen, Sophie would have been on a lot of trouble.

       Communication isn’t a oneway deal: it goes both ways. Just remember: if you get into a situation like Sophie’s, telling the other person how you feel-listening is a key factor to communication.

          Everyone has got two personalities—the one that is shown to the world and the other that is secret and real. You don’t show your secret personality when you’re awake because you can control your behavior, but when you’re asleep, your sleeping position shows the real you. In a normal night, of course, people frequently change their position. The important position is the one that you go to sleep in.
If you go to sleep on your back, you’re a very open person. You normally trust people and you are easily influenced by fashion or new ideas. You don’t like to upset people, so you never express your real feelings. You’re quite shy and you aren’t very confident.
If you sleep on your stomach, you are a rather secretive person. You worry a lot and you’re always easily upset. You’re very stubborn, but you aren’t very ambitions. You usually live for today not for tomorrow. This means that you enjoy having a good time.
If you sleep on curled up, you are probably a very nervous person. You have a low opinion of yourself and so you’re often defensive. You’re shy and you don’t normally like meeting people. You prefer to be on your own. You’re easily hurt.
If you sleep on your side, you have usually got a well-balanced personality. You know your strengths and weakness. You’re usually careful. You have a confident personality. You sometimes feel anxious, but you don’t often get depressed. You always say what you think even if it annoys people.

有些東西是很容易被拿起來的，卻是很難放下的。不用説，很多人都知道是在說感情這囘事。感情，令人嚮往的同時，又讓人泥足深陷，無法自拔。有很多人都能信誓旦旦地說自己不會被情所困，可是到最後還是自打嘴巴。我，就是這些人中的其中一個了。 以前總是說自己不會被情所困，最後還是被人抓住了弱點，被耍得團團轉。拿起手才發現原來要放下並不容易。是真的那麽愛不釋手嗎？真的就那麽珍貴嗎？我想很多人心裏面都清楚，其實不是這樣的。愛不釋手是藉口，是假話來的。放不了手真正的原因是不甘心。不甘心自己付出了，最後得到一個這樣的結果。不甘心自己的真心付出換來的卻是傷心，或者說是對方的冷眼相待。還會在心裏不斷地說凴什麽，凴什麽自己付出了這麽多，得到卻是這些。 但人總是會醒來的，總是會想通的，總是會明白過來的。當這些人都醒來了，都想通了，都明白過來了，就會發現自己是多麽的愚蠢，多麽幼稚。既然已經分手了，又何必死死糾纏呢？又何必搞到兩敗俱傷的地步呢？喜歡一個人，愛一個人不一定要和他在一起。愛的方式有很多，爲什麽一定要在一起才是愛，在一起才是幸福呢? 其實只要他幸福了，這樣就足夠了，何必強求一些本不屬於自己的東西呢？ 不甘心，有什麽好不甘心的。和他在一起的時候開心過，幸福過不就已經很好了嗎？難道還要奢求，每一個他在分手之後都還像原來那樣對待你，那你到底有沒有分手阿？又或者說到底誰才是你真正的男朋友阿？既然已經分手了，他就已經在沒有必要再對你好，你也再沒有資格要求他對你好。就算是他絕情，他狠，他冷眼相待，你也無話可説。正所謂，合則聚，不合則離，如是而已。 我說過自己是在等結果，其實結果從來就擺在我眼前只是我一直都不願意去承認，不願意接受而已。現在接受了，感覺像松了一口很大很大的氣一樣。所有的陰霾都沒有了。天空是蔚藍，萬里無雲，清風拂來，舒服極了。 P.S: Xinnie，我親愛的小8妹，請放心，我已經好了，我是真的沒事了。